No Longer “Undecided” October 08, 2007 10:26 PM Dear Nica: I read your USA Today article. I cannot begin to express to you how much it meant to me. Thank you so very much for writing it. Over the past several years I have struggled with my beliefs, or should I say non-beliefs. Whenever the subject of religion came up, I would say "I'm undecided." To me that seemed easy enough. How could anyone argue with undecided? It left little room for debate. I was amazed at the amount of controversy an honest—and what I would think neutral—answer like "undecided" caused. So for a long time I stuck with my undecided position, but inside it felt like a lie. I knew the truth, but I was really scared to say anything. Recently I have changed from "undecided" to "freethinker." I will tell people I don't believe in God, but that I am not an atheist. To me an atheist is someone who tries to discredit religion. At least that is what I thought until reading your article. I'm a good and honest person who doesn't believe in god. Why do I need to be labeled anything? Ironically I got into a conversation with a gentlemen about religion the day before reading your article. I told him I didn't believe in God and I could tell this startled him. He told me he had never heard anyone just come out and say something like that. We had a very good and long conversation, about a lot of different things. Once the religious debate was out of the way it inspired us both to talk about much more constructive things. We shared thoughts and ideas on marriage, parenting, and even talked about environmental preservation. It was really great. No arguing, no attacking, just two men sharing and learning from each other. I hope I convinced him that just because I don't believe in God, doesn't mean I am not a good person, husband, and a good father. I must tell you that your article was really inspiring. It was as if you knew exactly how I felt. You really opened my eyes and mind to atheism. I look forward to reading your book in the very, very near future. [Name Withheld]
		I’m Praying for You October 11, 2007 4:06 PM I am a USA Today subscriber and read your column earlier this week about atheism. I am also a Christian and will keep you in my prayers. You only get one shot at life, everything you have is a gift from God (even though you don't think He exists, I KNOW He does, and you can too.) If you are really interested in changing your image as an atheist, I'd consider the better alternative to believe in God and follow Jesus. I'd be interested in your thoughts...have a good week! Name Withheld ______ October 11, 2007 10:12 PM Hi [Name Withheld], Thanks for your email. I don’t think real dialogue can start with the statement: “even though you don't think He exists, I KNOW He does and you can too.” Don’t you see that this is not real discourse, but arrogance disguised as belief? Instead of praying for me, I would prefer you pray for my cousin who is suffering through the worst cancer I have ever heard of. She values people’s prayers, and could use all the help people are willing to offer. Thanks again for your note. Nica
		I Learned Tolerance from a Nun June 8, 2007 2:10pm Hi Nica, I heard you on the Milt Rosenberg show on WGN last night.  I was stuck in nasty construction traffic and your interview made the drive a little more interesting! I am Catholic—grade school and all girls Catholic high school. Still Catholic and raising my kids Catholic but with lots of questioning.  We don't believe blindly—lots of concerns about the church from the priest abuse to homosexuality. We believe that everyone should be able to love whoever they want and to marry.  I guess some would say we pick and choose what to believe but I think it just works for us. I want to raise my four teens to question and to not just "tolerate" but to respect. Such a difference. I so enjoyed listening to you and to the counterpoints made.  It was nice just to hear adults discuss religious topics without argument. And to be allowed to believe/not believe what you want.  We talk such a big talk about the war and peace when in our own country there is such intolerance. I want to say LIGHTEN UP—and sometimes I think, "Why does it matter to you what I believe?"  I know with those who have conversion as a part of their teaching that they need to win me over, to "save" me. But, they should also teach them to be tolerant (if not respectful) of others if they don't want to be, "saved". Mormons live across the street. We have an annual visit from their missionaries and we listen while they talk, they do the same. It is what real discourse should be!  No trying to tell me I will burn in hell. Just interesting to learn a little more about their religion. I went to a small school (60 in my graduating class) and was taught by nuns.  One of the nuns, Sister Virginia, taught a class on other religions of the world. It was fascinating. No comments made about them taking the wrong path—just information. And, then, in the end of the class she spoke about allowing people to believe what they believe and to respect them no matter what. It had a profound effect on me. Too bad we can't start in kindergarten with a class on respect for others! Thanks for the show! [Name Withheld]
		Atheism is Ridiculous May 29, 2007 2:10 pm I Just saw the clip of you on Fox arguing against the Creation Museum while at the same time arguing for "open-ended inquiry". Thanks for exposing the self-contradiction of an arguing atheist. No one makes the argument for God better than an atheist who hasn't learned to keep their ridiculous "beliefs" to themselves.
		Atheists are Wrong May 29, 2007 2:02 pm I just wanted to comment on your recent interview on FOX news, in opposition to the Creationist Museum, or should I say "building." I couldn't disagree with you more on your belief, or unbelief, but that is your choice. When you stand before our Creator and your works displayed, I am sure you will wish you had been "raised" differently. However, my chief complaint with you and other atheists like you, is your thrill of being so hate-filled and full of mockery. Your attitude is one of disdain and no tolerance. In a world where liberals are continually crying out for tolerance, rarely ever have I witnessed "your kind" radiating tolerance or for that matter, even civility. You and your actions bemoan a very unhappy and unfulfilled person. I have been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art of which you are affiliated, and I love it. It is a shame that someone of your caliber has to come off as such a pathetic "evolved" being. Your lack of compassion and evident anger at the Creation Museum, only strengthens the case against your cause. You are so pitifully wrong. May God have mercy on your poor soul. [Name Withheld]
		Religion as Propaganda May 26, 2007 2:33 PM Hi Nica! Just finished your book. Way to go! I found that some of your experience facing the religion has something in common with mine. I and my husband are both atheists. We came from Russia a while ago and settled here, in USA. I do not know if you ever were learning Russian history of religion I just want to share my experience. I think that it might interest you a bit. I was growing in very interesting period in Russia, as you might heard, 'Perestroyka'. I was born and raised as atheist in the country that claimed that there is no God and that going to Church is anti-social behavior. I have never doubted that believing in 'nothing' is bad. I was good student and learned well that all the scientific evidence tells us that God could not exist. Then, in 1985 'Perestroyka' had happened and suddenly, like overnight Church and God appeared everywhere. It seemed like all the people became the believers. There were mass baptisms, in rivers (!), since churches could not afford the quantities of people who wanted to do it. My all family got baptized and insisted that I do so. Fortunately, they did not press me for this. I felt awkward because there was no way for me to accept God existence. Most of my classmates got baptized and baptism of their children is now a usual non-doubtful business. Sometimes I wonder -- we were in same school listening to the same teachers and same government and somehow Church and God has prevailed in their minds and not in mine. I suspect it might be a mass factor -- do it like all others do. Like you told in your book that it is hard to be outcast. I go to Russia now and then and I still have connections with my old classmates. We do not discuss the religion so we do not get into argument. I think this is because in times of 'No God' talking about religion was one-sided, no more then the government propaganda that God does not exists. So as you can see due to historical reasons I still can communicate without conflict with my family and friends. Now I got a son born and he will grow in a deeply religious country and I know he will face religion here and there. So reading your book and understanding your feelings was very important for me to keep in mind when I will start answering my son’s questions. Thank you for your story, [Name Withheld]
		A Personal Story . . . May 03, 2007 1:50 PM Dear Ms. Lalli, Just this morning, I finished your book. It is rare that I feel compelled to write an author regarding their work but in this case, well, I just had to. Nothing is an amazing book, one that I will keep nearby and recommend to as many people as I can. I was brought up in a mostly non-religious environment. My father left his small Massachusetts town and its provincial religious mindset as soon as he was old enough to do so, and my mother similarly escaped from the Southern Evangelical environment in which she was raised. They met in California, and here I am. My adolescent years were a rocky place, and during that time I felt a longing, a desperate need to belong to something, to believe in something and my parents allowed me to seek my own path. As is often the case, the Christian church was there, in the form of the only friend I had in junior high school (if I read your historical and pop-culture references correctly, you and I are within a year or two of each other, age-wise). Through this friend, I was introduced to the glory and wonder of Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, and so on. The church was always there for me, ever-ready to help me understand that my awkwardness was all part of God’s master plan for me, and to also shepherd me into forwarding their own agenda, in the name of the Lord, of course. Many times during the course of my indoctrination, I had the uneasy feeling that none of what they were telling me was true. Time and again, I found myself not liking this god that they all worshipped. To me, He seemed like a tyrannical hypocrite, a schoolyard bully who demanded one’s soul instead of their lunch money, a jealous, petty, mean-spirited thug. The few times I dared mention this, I was promptly told that my feelings were the work of The Enemy and that being baptized would heal me of those sinful thoughts. Well, it didn’t. All I got from baptism was a snootful of chlorinated pool water and a cold. In hindsight, it was probably The Enemy again, this time attacking my faith through sniffles and sneezes. After two years of doubt, anxiety, manipulation, conditioning, peer pressure and mortal dread, I left the church. I just stopped going. Naturally, I lost most of the friends I had there. But I gained more than I lost: I gained an understanding that not only I was not interested in God as they presented him, but through reading the bible, I was not interested in God in any way, shape or form. Individual or collective interpretations may vary, but the God of the bible is simply not a god I can believe in and if by some extraordinary circumstance I was wrong and they were right, I would rather spend eternity in hell for being true to my heart than to be in heaven for blindly following and bunch of mythological nonsense. Over the years between then and now, I have felt the occasional pangs of feeling that I should believe in something, that I might be damned or punished for not believing. But each day brings me closer to understanding that it is quite alright to not believe in things which do not make sense to me. And as I get older, I have found that there are many people out there who feel the same way. I have read the writings of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris and yet, it was your personal story which resonated most deeply with me. I appreciate the effort you put into writing your story, and when I think of all the people who could potentially benefit from your work, I am certain the time and effort were well spent. And so after all my rambling, after telling my life story (which is unusual for me to do), what it all comes down to is this: Thank you. [Name Withheld] Costa Mesa, Ca
		Let’s Agree to Disagree April 13, 2007 10:44 PM Hi. I don't really know why I'm writing this, but I just finished reading "Nothing" - and I loved it! I have lived every single day of my life as a "nothing", and the way you write about all the different ways you meet religion as a child just makes me laugh so hard. I can totally understand how you felt, because I had all those experiences myself. I have always been proud of my beliefs, and I think my parents did a great job in trying to keep me open-minded and not to think I'm right and the rest of the world is wrong - even though we don't believe in the same things. But now I feel that I don't know enough about other religions and cultures so I want to learn more. I first read a book about zen budhism, and then I found your book. I had no idea the book was even new, published in 2007 until after I was done reading it. I feel like the little girl growing up in a lot of the scenes you write about - could just as well been me and parts of my childhood. But hey, I’m only 20 at the time, so I have no idea how its gonna be to tell my kids that they are "nothing". Sorry if my English is horrible, but I'm Norwegian (and tired..)... In Norway being "nothing" has never really been that hard. But now I live in Knoxville, Tennessee (as an au-pair for 1 year). And I think a lot of people here actually think I'm the devil or something since I don't go to church, don't close my eyes when I'm at a table and people say grace and so on... I just wish more people would, as you say - agree on disagree. So that’s my story. Thanks for a great book. Hopefully you will help to open some eyes out there. And good luck with your family. All the best [Name Withheld]
		A Validation April 12, 2007 8:57 PM Dear Nica, I just finished your book. It was superb! Thank you from my heart for writing it. I am you -- in spirit, in my heart, with my family. Your share validated me! There are no words when that happens. Considering my mouth is open a lot, this is a good thing. And grace will see us through. [Name Withheld] Portland, Oregon
		I’m Sharing Your Book April 05, 2007 7:56 PM Nica Lalli, I ordered your book this weekend, received it today, and read the whole thing in the last few hours. It is really magnificent. Thank you for writing your experiences and sharing them with the rest of us. It's great to read such a lucid account from a fellow nonbeliever. I already have a few friends at my college who want to borrow it from me, after seeing me with it at meals, and I am sure they will enjoy it as much as I have. Thank you, [Name Withheld]
		Thanks For Nothing March 11, 2007 3:12 PM Nica -- When I heard about your book, I had to read it. Now I have, and I have to say thank you so much. I enjoyed it immensely (some of the childhood episodes were tremendously funny -- I laughed out loud, though it got more serious later), especially because it touched on so many things that I've thought about long and hard all my life. I grew up in an era where religion seemed to be fading away, a rational, scientific era, where old superstitions had lost their power and their usefulness. No one is more surprised than me to find religion, and belief in the supernatural generally, has made a huge comeback. I blame it on the failure of science education in the schools. When Christians claim that Jesus was the result of a virgin birth, I ask why he wasn't a she. Where did he get his Y chromosome? When Jews claim that the Torah is a repository of wisdom, I mention that the last time I was in a synagogue, the reading was about a man who was stoned to death for gathering firewood on the sabbath. Now there's a fine model for a rational legal system. On the subject of heaven and hell, I can only say that a god who punishes people with eternal tortures for minor infractions can't be considered very good. Doesn't he realize that we should do good for its own sake, not for the hope of a reward, and avoid evil because it is evil, without the threat of punishment. Besides, how good could heaven be that you wouldn't get bored after a month or two? And how bad can hell be that you wouldn't get used to it after a few million years? I'll take my chances, but of course the idea of my personality surviving the death of my body is patently absurd. Enough of my running on. Lots of luck with your book, and I hope, your continuing career as an author. And I have to say it, thanks for Nothing! Yours, [Name Withheld]